Child Labor Can Save Medicare

A Child-Labor
Solution to the Medicare Funding Shortfall

Child labor is an unexamined source of
funds for Medicare and Social Security. I call on the federal
government to establish an Office of Generational Resources, OGRE,
to work for the repeal of sections of the 1938 Fair Labor Standards
Act. This act stands in the way of collecting a
rich source of new revenues to prop up the current system. I invite
the American Association of Retired Persons, AARP, to vigorously
lobby Congress to this end.

There are 60 million children between
the ages of 5 and 19, most of which are contributing nothing to
programs for people over 65, people which number 35 million. Each
elderly person costs Medicare about $6,000 per year, and Social
Security about $11,000 per year. This is only $17,000 per year, per
each. (The new drug plan adds quite a bit in expense to this total,
but it is not figured in here. We can just borrow money from
Europeans and the Chinese for a while to pay for this. Or increase
the birthrate.)

Each of these children watches TV 28
hours per week. They may as well be working. If they each earned
$7.00 per hour, they would earn $196 per week. If after federal
income tax – no person should be excused from this civic duty –
they were given an allowance of 10 percent of their earnings, enough
to keep them from revolting, there would be approximately $156 to
remit to the federal treasury. All taken together, there would be
$285 billion collected annually. This is a tidy sum. The Baby Boom
generation needs it. They are set to begin retiring in huge numbers.
There will be 77 million of them, double the current number of
elderly. And nothing has been done to plan for their Social Security
and medical care. Nothing, that is, except empty promises.

Now, finally a legitimate plan arrives.
Repeal Fair Labor Standards!

What are the alternatives to my
reasonable plan? A 2003 study by Gokhale and Smetters of the Federal
Reserve System proposes 4 alternatives to make sure the Baby Boomers
get as much as the Greatest Generation:

  1. Increase federal income taxes 69%
  2. Increase payroll taxes 95%
  3. Cut every expense of the federal
    government except Social Security and Medicare 100%
  4. Cut Social Security benefits 56%None of these are reasonable. Thank
    heavens for the children! They will save the elderly!

There are corollary benefits as well.
Youth will smoke less pot. There will be less childhood obesity. Kids
will get a work ethic. Crime will drop. Youth will learn to respect
their elders because they will be serving them.

The numbers of child laborers peaked in
the early twentieth century. Then “child labor began to decline as
the labor and reform movements grew.” Members of labor unions found
it to their advantage to get kids out of the mills because wages for
the adults improved. The same incentive exists today, that is, adults
need to protect their entitlements and to increase and protect their
standard of living. But this time, the way to do it is to get the
kids back in the mills.

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One Response

  1. Ok Dude, you are either trying to be halarious or you are seriously lacking in hobbies!! This is a bunch of Bull crap! hehe you are funny!

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