Snapshot of the Candidates

Each Republican and Democratic hopeful can be identified with an incident or characteristic. I read the paper infrequently, and watch no TV, except while dressing at the gym, so my one-line assessment of these candidates is barely tainted by media moguls. Here’s how I see them.

Hilary: Suffered in silence when Bill humiliated her. Could be just the president to lead the nation through a severe humiliation by terrorists.

Obama: Pretty boy of the wards of Chicago, the Tiger Woods of politics. Excessive smiling might be the best way to carry out the functions of the executive branch when you are shy on experience.

John Edwards: Good hair. Trial lawyer. Could get the nation a good settlement if the EU does something to harm us. (Who would pay?)

John McCain: Can suffer imprisonment by a Communist regime without cracking. Might also come in handy if we as a nation don’t learn to compete with China. He can lead the way, suffering.

Mitt Romney: Portrays himself as a whiz manager, rescuer of the Olympics. He’s too clean; do we really want our nation to be identified with a good family man?

Rudy: Chief commiserator, arm-around-the shoulder after NY’s terrorist attack. We may need this kind of leadership again if we don’t thwart terrorism.

So there they are, two sufferers, one suffering counselor, a trial lawyer, a slim, handsome black, and a turn-around exec. Take your pick.

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