The Heart Attack Diet

The Heart Attack Diet

A heart attack is every American’s birthright. This book is dedicated to your heart attack. Follow these steps and make your heart attack more certain. Uncertainty is insecurity.

 

This book will walk you through decisions about care. Make sure you get the most taxpayer treatment dollars possible.

 

Tips

 

Begin with the end in mind. Know what you want. Heart attack is so easy to avoid that if you do not pursue it with singlemindedness, you could be left out in the cold, one of the few Americans to be embarrassed by missing out on a heart attack. You will not relate to others, a social pariah.

 

Always choose red meat.

Eat meat, dairy, eggs and compressed oils at every meal.

Choose animal proteins rather than plant protein.

Eat continuously. Never go unsatisfied.

Take in more calories than needed to maintain trim weight.

Avoid over-reliance on fruit and vegetables.

Barbeque often.

Include butter, shortening and lard in your diet.

Fry instead of boiling.

Eat every possible meal at fast-food outlets.

Pick soda over water.

Ice cream and pizza should be staples.

Grains: be very careful with them.

 

Recipes

 

Indian Fry Bread, Banana Splits, Pork Loin Roast, Breakfast Burritos with Eggs and Sausage, German Chocolate Cake, Deep-Fried Oreos,

Gravy on Biscuits

 

Four for the Price of One

 

Heart disease, cancer, stroke, and diabetes are all caused or aggravated by the same diet. So, by following the advice above, your mauling at the hands of the medical establishment is all but guaranteed. If you score diabetes before your heart attack, so be it. A high fat diet and avoidance of physical exercise will lead to one or all. Bundled pricing: isn’t it great?!

Best Heart Hospitals

Here are the rankings.

The advice of this book is to pick your hospital early. Consider moving closer to it.

Celebrities and Heart Attacks

 

Jerry Garcia

Dick Cheney

F. Scott Fitzgerald

John Candy

Larry King

Everyone is doing it. Heart attack’s the thing to do.

 

Wikimedia, NIH

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One Response

  1. The heart muscle requires a constant supply of oxygen-rich blood to nourish it. The coronary arteries provide the heart with this critical blood supply. If you have coronary artery disease, those arteries become narrow and blood cannot flow as well as they should. Fatty matter, calcium, proteins, and inflammatory cells build up within the arteries to form plaques of different sizes. The plaque deposits are hard on the outside and soft and mushy on the inside.;

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